


When you fail, keep going

by Kamon



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-02-16 02:17:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13044423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamon/pseuds/Kamon
Summary: 100 badges, symbols, prints and ribbons100 days on the road(Drabble collection about Ash in Johto, Hoenn and maybe even Kanto)





	1. 001 Questioning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Old collection of one shots I wrote for a loose au. I couldn’t get them to really connect, so now I’m getting them out of my system

Ash flipped over the brochures his mom had shoved at him. They depicted happy kids either reading or playing with pokemons and bragged how wonderful trainer school was, how the structured teaching helped, and how it had an automatic entry to the local league without having to travel.

Behind him, his tv was turned on, which his pokemons were watching in silence. He’d come home late, so he couldn’t let them rest at Prof. Oak’s. He really wished he could have; it was a hard enough decision, without five silent pokemons avoiding his gaze. Or him avoiding their gaze, it was kinda hard to tell. He couldn’t really go downstairs; his mom was probably still down there and he didn’t want to continue the argument yet. 

It was an idea. Other than Orange League, he hadn’t really accomplished much. The less said about the last year the better. He’d not even qualified for Silver Conference. Maybe travelling wasn’t his thing. Sure, he liked it, but that didn’t mean he learned enough from it.

Then again, if his memories from school wasn’t coloured by time, classrooms wasn’t his thing either. 

Putting the brochures down, Ash laid his head down on top of them. He wanted to ask for advice, but he wasn’t sure who to ask. Misty and Brock would say trainer school, no question asked. Prof. Oak and Tracy would side with his mom. They were all friends an’ buddies. That left Gary who- no. Not Gary. 

Maybe he just needed to sleep on it.

~~~~*~*~~~~

Ash woke up with a feeling that this was wrong. He was supposed to get his bag and book and walk to school. He was supposed to worry about if he’d done his homework, if he got home in time to watch Kamen Raider or whether Gary and he was on a good enough terms that they could play together. 

His still had his old books. The fishing net. The diploma for participating in the South-west Kanto bug catching contest. The new badges and one trophy was pretty much the only new things in his bedroom.

He toyed with the idea of just ending it here. Find something to do and just settle down. Because then he didn’t have to worry about letting anybody down or not being good enough. He wasn’t sure how many of his pokemons would still want to travel with him, if he even did that again. 

Looking around the living room, it hadn’t changed much. New pictures and other decorations, but the walls was still the same colour and it was the same couch.

He drowned his soda and looked at how much Pallet Town hadn’t changed. It’s not even been three years, but he still felt out of step. 

A thump came from the staircase and Pikachu made his way downstairs. Without stopping, he walk over to Ash, jumped into his lap and laid down to nap. Apparently, spending the whole morning snoozing on his bed hadn’t been enough. Ash sighed and began to pet Pikachu.

“Maybe I should quit.”

The sentence hung in the air for a bit. Ash looked down to check if Pikachu was even awake. He was. 

"Pi?"

“Not quit traveling. Quit training. Ain’t like it’s been going to well lately.” 

He jumped onto the table and gestured towards the door. “Pichu, pika?”

“I don't have to stay here. Just… Maybe training isn’t what I should do.”

Pikachu lowered his arm and look out the door. Then it jumped off the table and ran upstairs. Ash could hear him rustle around, before he came down again. He came into the kitchen with Ash’s vest in his mouth. He went up the table again and spread out the vest out, so the badges were visible. He pointed at them. “Pi pika pika. Chu pi pika, pikapi.”

Ash picked the vest up. He ran his fingers over the badges. "I didn't win half of them, ya'know."

"Pika Pika!"

Ash held up his fingers to start counting. "We didn't beat Brock, I forfeited. Misty's sisters gave us the Cascade Badge, because they'd ran out of pokemons to fight with, never beat Erica nor Sabrina. They both kicked our asses, and gave us the badge to be nice." Ash hesitated with his last example. "Dunno if the Earth Badge counted, since I don't think Team Rocket really were the gym leaders..."

Ash held up his other hand to continue counting, but couldn't think of anybody else.

Pikachu started to counted the rest of the badges. The Thunder Badge, Soul Badge, Volcano Badge, all the badges from Johto and Orange league. He finished the count at 15.

“Pika, chu chu.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“PI!”

Ash took a deep breath. “I can do better.” 

He had done better. He didn’t know what had happened to him lately, but he could do better. He couldn’t just give up, because of a little resistance. 

‘And if it doesn’t work…I’ll figure that out when I get there.’ 

Ash got up. If he was going to do this, he needed a plan.


	2. 005 Sport

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some time mid-johto

It was morning. It was dark. The clock showed 6 o’clock, and the sun wasn’t up yet, but it was morning. Ash was still under his bed covers. He had promised that this was the day he would change. The day he would pull himself together. Like yesterday. And the day before that. He could roll over again, and nobody would realize he'd put things off again. 

He’d set the alarm low, as to not wake the rest. Because running been his thing less than two years ago. Before he travelled. 

He would just have to get up, out of bed, grab his stuff and slip out. Just sit up. No turning over, sit up.

(What if some of the others woke and asked what he was up to? They would think it’s ridiculous, running around. This is really stupid. Why is he doing this again?)

Ash gridded his teeth, trying to block out these thoughts. He could already feel he face get warm, imagining having to explain he was just slipping out for a run in the morning. Knowing that, well, he’s Ash. He’s too lazy for that, he’s just doing stuff again, that he will eventually fail at. His head got light, and he worked to hold back his breath, fearing it was too close to a sob, that it would wake the others.

Taking a deep breath, Ash sat up. This had to stop. He was just going for a run. It’s not like he’s never done that before. He would. Right now. Now.

He slowly got out of bed and grabbed the cloth he’d laid out before going to bed. It was their last night in the town, before they left for Ecruteak Town. Hopefully they’d get there this time, and not wander off course to Olivine City. (They’d sworn to never speak about that ever again. They’d planned to go straight to Olivine City.)

He changed in the toilet, left his sleeping cloths on his bed, and went outside. It was cold, and the lack of anybody made the city seem empty. He regretted not to bring a scarf, and for a moment he just wanted to turn around and give up. This was going badly already, and he’d not even started yet. Doomed to failure.

He looked down the street. He’d run down to the street lamp and back.

When he got to it, he figured he could run to the next one. And the next one. Just one more, he wasn’t tired yet.

When he finally got back to the pokecenter, his friends hadn’t gotten up yet.


	3. 006 Abandoned

When a trainer brought a pokeball it was registered with their trainer card. There was a string with the trainers ID and the pokemon's ID. Therefore, trainers couldn't just trade by handing their pokeballs to one another, they needed a machine. 

All these ID's were saved in a national database, which the League used when they listed participants and their current rooster in their tournaments. What wasn't listed in that database was any former trainer a pokemon could have had. Place for capture or trade, but not the former trainer by name or number. Not even to the trainers themselves. 

They didn’t mention that Damian had abandon Charizard or that Paul kicked Infernape out. He knew Squirtle had a former trainer but since that pokeball had been lost, he didn't know who (and Squirtle wasn't really forthcoming about it). He might not ever know if the other starter pokemons were born in the wild or left there. They were rare in the wild. 

Ash stopped and listened but he couldn’t hear Prof. Oak anywhere. There was another database, which did include the lists of former trainers. Ash had seen Prof. Oak look at that database before and he had an idea what the password could be. _(celebi)_

He turned to the computer and put in the password.

*Password denied*

“Great.”

Then Umbreon sat next to the keyboard.

“You know, this is illegal.” Ash turned around to see Gary smirking at him. “Thought you were such a good boy.”

“Go away,” Ash said and turned away to leave.

“What were you looking for anyway? There isn’t anything there you couldn’t see in the tournament database.” 

“Nothing. It’s not anything important.” 

“I do know the password.” 

Ash stopped. “Really. And what do you want in return?” He didn’t need to turn around to know that Gary was still smirking. 

“I don’t know. Guess I'll just keep the favour for later."

Ash could live without knowing. He had lived without knowing for seven years now. There was still a possibility that Prof. Oak had picked Pikachu up and always intended to give it to Ash (stable time loops and all that), and just hadn’t gotten around to tame it in time. 

That didn’t explain Pikachu’s fright of pkeballs nor why it hates being left alone at the pokecenter. 

“Sure.” Gary was still smirking. Ash wondered what would happen if he just went ahead and decked him. 

Gary put in the password and the database opened up.


End file.
